


Melon Baller

by spotty8ee



Category: Night In The Woods (Video Game)
Genre: But like not cutting, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 00:50:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10502994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spotty8ee/pseuds/spotty8ee
Summary: It had been going so well. So, so well. Too well, Mae now realized.Bea and Mae, following after Gregg and Angus, move to Bright Harbor. Things are good in their relationship, and they keep on getting better and better, even with a slightly rocky start to their move.Mae should have known it wouldn't last. Least of all with a track record like her's.





	

Mae almost couldn’t breath.

It had been going so well. So, so well. Too well, Mae now realized. 

After two years of dating, Mae and Bea had decided to take the next step in their relationship and move in together. They knew that Possum Springs was pretty much one big sink hole and that the longer they stayed, the harder it would be to escape. So when they finally moved in together, they chose to leave town entirely. They had saved up enough to join the boys in Bright Harbor, getting an old condo in a less favorable side of town. With Mae saving all her money from her job at Taco Buck, which by the way had almost ruined tacos for her forever, and Bea’s work at her dad’s store they easily put a down payment on it.

However, getting a place and getting new jobs was the easy part. It was leaving that proved to be difficult.

Well, for one of them more than the other.

Sure Mae’s mom put up a little fuss about her baby moving away. Yes Mae wasn’t sure how leaving town this time would affect her (though Bea was more than home enough now) and getting furniture together hadn’t been fun…

It was actually Bea who got the shit end.

Not that it was new for her poor Bea, Mae knew. Life wasn’t kind to her beautiful, amazing girlfriend. She had studied her ass off to get good grades in high school, wanted to go to college and make something of herself. Only for her mother to get sick, causing the family to blow all their savings and then some to try to save her, then for it all to fail. Bea had no money to go to school, she had no mother to cry to. She hadn’t even had Mae to help her because Mae had abandoned her years before.

Something Mae swore would never happen again.

WIth that in mind Mae had joined her girlfriend at her home for dinner, and watched Bea announce the move to her dad. Then she was front row to a rather frightening screaming match. 

Robert Santello hadn’t been fond of Mae when it was announced she was Bea girlfriend. Friend was fine, girlfriend not so fine. The Santellos were a rather religious family, not like crazy religious, but devout nonetheless. Yet no matter how somewhat homophobic Mr Santello was, he choose to nodded his head to Bea and accept it without too much fuss. He merely ignored Mae in Bea’s presence, or glowered at her in Bea’s absence.

Now that unspoken house rule was pretty much null and void. At first it was just Bea and Robert yelling at each other. About the family business, responsibility, legacy, ect, ect. Bea had expected this much, as she had warned Mae beforehand, and was deflecting verbal blows like a seasoned fencer. 

However when it became clear to Mr Santello that Bea wasn’t going to rethink her decision, he slammed his fists on the table and looked past Bea to Mae at the end of the breakfast bar.

If he had been yelling at Bea he was practically screaming at Mae. The small black cat had gotten every other word, stealing his daughter this, trouble from the start that. She was dealing rather well, even if Mae felt like she could piss herself with the way this larger, very angry man was yelling at her.

Bea tried to cut him off at the pass, but he was well beyond the pass. He was in a full on rage, and Mae kept making herself smaller and smaller under his glare, his fist pounding on the table in fury. 

She was trying to change. Mae was trying so hard to stay by her girlfriend’s side and support her, show her she was there for her, thick or thin. No matter how scared she got, no matter how tall Mr Santello was when he stood.

That changed rather quickly when a beer bottle barely missed Mae’s head. 

She had fallen from her stool in a plethora of frantic panic when she saw the object heading right for her face. The stool tipping had likely saved her pulling glass out of her muzzle that night. Then everything went weird, the stress was building, the fear was building and the Stanello’s kitchen was melting into shapes and-

She bolted.

She was up and out before anyone had said a word after the bottle shattered on the kitchen wall. The apartment door flung open under Mae’s paws and she was halfway down the staircase when she stumbled on the landing. Falling over she had crawled to the corner and waited.

Waited for the shapes to fade. Waited for the itching in her fingers to end. Waited for the tears to stop.

She hated herself for leaving Bea up there alone, leaving her like she had done all those years ago. Mae tried to calm her breathing, tried to slap herself straight so she could go back up and help Bea with her crazy dad. Only nothing was working!

It was only when Bea had come running after her a few minutes later and held her that the shapes slowly faded. Mae wanted to apologize, she want to throw herself at Bea’s feet and cry out guilty apologizes until the sun went out. Only Bea wouldn’t let her go and was whispering in her ear.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” 

It was only when the two got to Mae’s house and lay in bed together that the cat learned what Bea meant.

She was thanking her for not attacking her father when the dissociation began. Bea was thanking her for trying so hard to support her. Bea was thanking her for giving her an escape from this town.

Since then Bea hadn’t spoken to her father. She didn’t go into work. Bea just waited until her father was out on a repair before sneaking into the apartment, packing her shit and getting back out. On moving day Mae’s parents loaded up both their cars with the girls things and helped them move to their new home and after a rather tearful goodbye from Candy, they were suddenly lone in a new city.

Mae’s factory job had been working out great, turns out mindless repetition suited her fine, not to mention she got ten percent off coupons for their products (Who knew working at a Ice cream factory would be so rewarding!). Bea’s, meanwhile, was much less stressful than the one at the family business. 

However Mae knew Bea’s life still wasn’t complete. Only one thing could make the gator happier. 

College.

So Mae looked around on her off time and finally found something. Bright Harbor had its own college with a wide variety of courses. With Bea’s grades she’d get in no problem. The only issue was it was quite a walk. 

They’d need a car and the money for tuition. 

So Mae did what she was good at. She contributed nothing to society by way of buying things and kept hording her remaining money. She would talk Bea out of dates out for date nights in. She didn’t buy a whole bunch of junk food. She scrimped and save for another two years and after bills and helping pay for the condo, Mae finally had enough to pay for the first few years.

She got brochures for the school, she found the cheapest, most reliable car she could, and parked it in their spot before waiting on the couch for her girl to get home.

Bea came home from work, a little tired and grumpy.

“Some asshole parked in our spot.” Bea moaned. “S’not like we’re using it, but still.”

“Oh we’re using it.” Mae said simply, pretending to watch tv as she heard Bea pause.

“What are we doing with it?” Bea asked, Mae watching her girlfriend’s brow raise in the mirror over the tv as she tuned Garbo and Malloy out. 

“What do you do with a parking spot?” Mae asked, nonchalant. 

“Park in it.” Bea frowned.

Mae waited for a moment, watching Bea staring down at her in the mirror, still not understanding what Mae was saying. Mae smirked a bit in defeat. “Yup.”

Bea stilled stared at her, confused, before her face blew up in shock. “Wait.”

Mae shut off the Tv and rolled over to face her girlfriend coyly. 

Bea looked like she was discovering an ancient mystery in a tomb, eyes darting around in thought. “Do you- did you-?!”

Mae wiggled her eyebrows before twirling the key ring on her finger. “You wanna go for a ride-SHIT!” Mea scrambled to catch the keys that flew off her finger mid twirl, leaping off the couch after them. Reclaiming her prize Mae sat back up, watching Bea snicker as she doubled over behind the couch. 

Ahh geeze… You plan this shit out and one wrong thing…

Eh.

“You didn’t answer me Santello.” Mae said loudly over the gravelly laughing. “You wanna take a spin in the MaeBea mobile?” 

Bea struggled back up, wiping her eye with a claw as she stifled her chuckles. “Only if the name is up for debate.” She snickered.

They made their way out to the lot, Bea circling the car for a quick inspection before they climbed inside. Once in Bea made a slight face.

“Kinda smells like cigarette smoke in here… maybe weed to?” Bea frowned.

“Yah, thats why it was a good price.” Mae nodded. “It's a little old and the pedometer is a little high, but the smell is what made it so tantalizingly affordable. Figured you wouldn’t care.”

Bea opened her mouth for a second before she looked down at the smoke in her mouth and shut it, nodding in agreement. “Yah, yah I guess so.” Bea looked in all the mirrors and checked the back seat. “Still though, I wish you would have brought me along to help you instead of making it a surprise. You don’t know shit about cars and this could have turned out bad, you know?”

“You doubt my knowledge?” Mae asked jokingly.

“Yes.” 

Mea rolled her eyes with a smile.

“Well, it's a nice car from what I can see. Company’s good. Good on gas. Looks like she’s a bit dented and chipped in places but its nothing major.” Bea shrugged. “If we frabreeze the shit out of it, this may not be so bad.” She sat back in her seat. “Not too shabby Borowski.”

“You flatter me so.” Mae smiled. 

“What kind of insurance did you get for this?”

Mae’s ears drooped. “Insurance?”

Bea stared at her before sighing a little but didn’t look upset. “Nah, never mind, we’ll get some. Its just nice that we won’t have to take the bus all the time.”

“I’m still within walking distance to work and the store.” Mae shrugged. “You can take her most of the time.”

“I doubt that will be necessary.” Bea said, putting the window down to smoke out of it. “I don’t work that far either.”

“Look in the glove compartment.” Mae smiled.

“Glove compartment? Why?” Bea asked, suspicious. 

“Just look.”

Bea eyed her girlfriend but relented, popping the box in front of her and pulling the papers out from inside. She leafed through all of them. “All that's in here is stuff for a school… wait, do we not have an owners manual or registration?!” Bea felt around inside the compartment again.

“We do, they're right here B. Chill.” Mae smiled as she patted the armrest between them, pulling the top up to show the compartment inside. “What do you think of those papers though?”

“These?’ Bea asked, looking through them again. “... well, it's a nice school.” Bea shrugged as she opened a pamphlet. “Its got a really good law program. Medicine here is kinda good… I heard their art is crap funded.”

“Would you like to take a course there?” Mae asked.

“I always wanted to go into either law of medicine… Before my mom passed away I did have this school on my list, wasn’t like my top pick but it was good.” Bea sighed, looking to Mae again. “Why the hell are these in here though?”

Mea smiled before she pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket. She waved it playfully in front of Bea until the girl snatched it. Bea looked it over, jaw dropping.

“Mae.”

“Yup.”

“This is your bank balance?!”

“Yup.”

“Mae-! There's almost six thousand dollars in it!” Bea yelled.

“Uh huh.” Mae nodded.

“Wh- why do you have so much in your bank?!” Bea asked. “I only have like, barely two thousand in mine!”

Mae leaned over the armrest a bit before tapping the college pamphlet with a finger. Bea looked back down at it before freezing. Mae chuckled a bit. “Should pay for, what… the first two year of tuition? BH isn’t as expensive as Durkillesburg ,and we live in town so it won’t be as costly.”

“Mae…” Bea leaned back in her seat, taking a deep, calming breath, eyes a bit misty. “Mae this could pay for so much of the condo.” 

“What? No! That's for your school.” Mae ordered.

“Mae, I can’t…” Bea moaned. “I can’t! We could use this in so many other places.”

“Y-Yeah, BUT after you graduate you could get a better job! Then we’d have more money after that than we would just working now!” Mae explained. “I mean, you could be a paralegal! Or a Registered Nurse! Or ah, ah… You could be whatever you want!”

Bea frowned down at the pamphlets longingly. “I would work less, you have to pay for more stuff. Then we’d need to pay for any other years of schooling… gas in the car…”

“We’ll cut back! Buy candles! Eat ramen!” Mae was practically begging. She could see Bea’s will crumbling. “Come on Bea! Do for you, you want to!”

“...” Bea still looked uncertain, but started leafing through the class options again. 

“Do it! Do it! Come on, do it! Do it!” Mae chanted.

“I-”

“Bea, you alway do good things for everybody else! You always put other people first!” Mae whined. “Be selfish for once! Do this because this was all you wanted to do in high school! Do it for High school Bea, who worked her butt off! Do it so you can live out your dream!”

Bea stared down at the papers before sitting up excitedly. “Yeah. YEAH! I’m gonna do it!” Bea threw her hands up, laughing loudly with tears streaming down her face, she pulled Mae into a tight embrace. “I’m gonna do it!”

“Yes!” Mae shouted, pumping her fist.

……

…

It had been a bit since then. Bea applied and was of course accepted, and while the ramen did get old Mae found she could whip up eggs with fried sandwich ham or spaghetti just as cheaply. Mae started to pick up more shifts at work to pay for everything and to save for another year of Bea’s school, even if Bea had only started her second semester.

She was starting to get a bit ragged. Tired from the long hours, the number crunching and stressed as the due date on bills would get closer. Yet it was worth it when Bea excitedly talked about what she had learned, about new fiends she was making. She hadn’t seen Bea smile like this in a while, and it quickly helped re-energize Mae for the day ahead to think about it. Mae deeply hoped that doubling up on her work now could help pay for the time she wasn’t there for her girl before. Get rid of this guilt she held inside and make Bea’s dreams come true at the same time. 

Only the shapes were starting to come back.

Mae would see them out the corner of her eye. Sometimes the factory floor looked more like squares and rectangles for a blink, the apartment would waiver in vision… Mae tried to tell herself it wasn’t real. It was just her stupid head again. Just her broken brain. It didn’t make things go away, but it did make things easier to ignore. At night, when Bae held her the shapes would fade, and would stay away until noon the next day. So everything was fine… Everything was going well.

Too well.

It was January. Mea had just finished a 18 hour shift after covering for a sick co-worker at the boss’s request. I mean, hey more money and it wasn’t like Mae had anything to do, not with Bea going to hang out with some friends that night. It was late when she started to walk the ten minute route home, through the snowy sidewalks and cold, biting winds.

Mae pulled her coat tighter, cursing her choice not taking the car to save on gas. Well it wasn’t like she planned on being out this late… It was just ten minutes. You can’t freeze to death in ten minutes. What can happen in ten minutes?

Then somebody grabbed her.

Threw her to the ground was maybe more correct. They kicked her in the side, and it was only after so much wrestling with Gregg that she was able to recover so quickly. She scrambled up, turning to the lanky guy behind her, scarf up over their face and knife out. 

“Give me all your money!” The bandit yelled, slashing at her.

It took a little bit of time for Mea to snatched the blade from him, something Gregg would never let her live down, but after a few cuts to the hand she managed to unarm him in a flurry of motion. Clearly her never played with these like she had. Amature. 

However the cocky thought was thrown from her head when the guy started to strangle her.

He jumped her down into the road, hands tight around her throat. Mae gagged, feet kicking uselessly.

Oh god! OH GOD! 

She struggled to breath, looking back up when-

A rectangular face looked down at her, a triangle over it where the scarf had been. A pair of rectangles came down to two squares around her throat. Mae stared up at him, bug eyed..

Then she heard the whispers.

The whispers she hadn’t heard since she was a child…

_Just shapes. Can’t hurt shape. Thats silly._

**But- but he’s not shapes!**

_Use your eyes, he’s clearly all shapes._

**M-my eyes are broken! They don’t work right!**

_Its fine! Its fine! Hit it, it won’t hurt it!_

**I-**

_GO FOR THE WHITE CIRCLES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RECTANGLE!_

Mae’s hands flew up, claws extended. They latched onto each white circle and pushed in. The figure cried out in pain, releasing her. However Mae didn’t really notice, quickly standing as the shapes rolled around in the white, rectangular snow.

**H-he’s crying out in pain!**

_Its lying! Shapes always lie! Get that piece of wood by the garbage can!_

Mae’s body obeyed, grabbing the brown rectangle. 

_Hit it!_

**SLAM**

_AGAIN!_

**SLAM**

_It feel so good, don’t it! Get the shapes! Make them red!_

**SLAM! SLAM! BAM! SLAP! SLAP!**

The sounds seemed like they were getting moist. Red shapes were scattering out over the white snow like- like-!

_Art! We’re making art, Mae! ART!_

Mae drew another blow for her canvas. Scattering her red paint nicely. Another had it seeping deeply into the white.

_Kill HIM!_

**HIM?!**

Mae froze, looking down at the figure shivering pathetically below her. Her ears popped suddenly.

“P-please stop!” The shapes whined. “Stop! I’m sorry!”

Mae blinked a few times, trying to make the shapes dissipate. They remained. No matter what she tried they stayed.

_What are you doing?! Kill Him! He’s at your mercy! Keep making ART!_

Mae threw the wood down and ran.

She ran as quickly as she could, skidding in the snow and falling down a few times. She wasn’t sure how she managed it, but she somehow found the right rectangle that was her building, fleeing inside to her door. She trembled with her keys trying to figure out where the locks had gone. Which shape was the locks!? She jammed the key around, trying to find the hole.

Until finally the keys just fell to the floor.

Until finally Mae just slumped to the floor.

She curled up by the door with a whimper, pressing her hands to the surface of it as if wishing she could just phase right through it. When her hands came down they left red marks on the white, rectangular door.

Was this her blood or his?

Mae chose to start drawing with it rather than think about that. She drew whatever came to mind, it seemed to keep the voices quiet… She drew an ice cream cone. She drew a knife, she drew herself, crying and apologizing…

Then she drew Bea. Beautiful and amazing Bea, looking down at her bloodied and crying girlfriend in disgust.

_Cause that's what was gonna happen._

Mae whined deep in her throat and slammed her head on the door a few times.

_Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting._

**I Know! I Know! I Know! I Know!**

Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.

She shut her eyes. Just for a minute. Just for a second.  
…….  
…  
..  
.

“MAE!” A hand grabbed her shoulder.

Mae screamed an ungodly sound, leaping back from the person behind her. She scrambled along the ground, whining as a pair of hands grabbed her around the middle, stopping her escape. “No! No! No!”

“Mae!- M-Mae. Mae, calm down…” The figure began to speak a little softer. “Its ok…”

They pulled her into their embrace and she found herself relaxing as the smell of cigarettes and sawdust overcame her. 

Bea.

Mae just started to bawl. Bea hooked an arm around her and dragged her close to the door again, Mae could make out her triangular claws picking up silver shapes on the ground before rattling with the door. She managed to open it, then she dragged Mae inside.

The apartment was all shapes, why weren’t the shapes melting now the Bea was here? Bea allowed Mae to slump down on the floor as she locked the door again. Her girlfriend turned to look her over. “Oh god, Mae, your covered in blood!”

“I-I know…” Mae muttered guiltily. 

It seemed like she wanted to ask more, but decided instead to help Mae off their floor and onto a chair in their kitchen. She stroked Mae’s hair for a few moments before pulling out her phone and going to their bedroom. “Just hold on for a second, ok?”

Mae slumped in her seat.

Why was everything still shapes…

_Why do you think?_

**Cause my eyes are broken.**

_Why are they broken?_

Mae turned a bit to looked at the living room mirror. She could only make out her twitching ear in it. Standing shakily she rounded the table and couch to stand in front of it.

_So what's the verdict? Why are your eyes broken?_

**They- these are not my EYES!**

Mae looked frantically in the mirror, pulling open her eyes wider to look at them more closely. They twitched in the sockets, unable to hold a steady gaze in the mirror, like they knew they were caught. They were too small. Too dull. Too alien to be her own.

**Where did these come from?! They aren’t mine!**

_Is that the problem? Well how do we fix it then stupid?_

Fix it. Fix it. FIX IT. FIX IT!

These weren’t her eyes. Where were her eyes? She didn’t like these ones! She liked them less than her old one! Where were her old ones?!

_Don’t worry about that for now. Lets just fix this issue first and find your old eyes later._

**What do I do then?!**

_If these aren’t supposed to be here, then where are they supposed to be?_

**Anywhere but in my head!**

_Then put them anywhere but in your head idiot._

Mae’s brain puzzled over that for a moment before she went for the kitchen drawers. Finding the right drawer through the shapes, Mae shuffled through the oddly shaped utensils before finding the one she wanted. 

Melon baller.

She stumbled back to the mirror clumsy.

 **Is this gonna hurt?** Mae raised the tool the edge of one of her sockets, feeling the cold steel against her naked eye.

_Hell yeah! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!_

Mirror Mae stuck out her tongue in concentration before pushing a bit. She felt the pressure at the edge of her eye, she tried to open the eye wider, trying to slip the steel under her eyeball to scoop the imposter out. It started to hurt, the spiked edges cutting the skin around her eye.

_Little more._

Pain.

_Hold on, just a little more!_

PAIN.

_Annnnnnddd-_

“Mae! STOP!” 

A hand flashed into her vision and grabbed her wrist, squeezing it painfully until the melon baller fell to the floor.

_Ah hell, you were so close._

“So- so close…” Mea whispered softly.

“Mae! What the hell are you doing?!” Bea shouted frantically, taking her girlfriend’s head in her hands and inspecting the eye for damage.

“T-these are NOT my eyes Bea!” Mae tried to explain it, tried to be rational. “They aren’t! They make everything look bad, look shapey! Somebody switched my eyes!”

Bea stared at her. “Mae.-”

“I need to get them out!” Mae felt panic building. “I don’t want to see with these things anymore!”

“Mae.” Bea shook her a bit. “Mae, do you trust me?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation. Even the voice didn’t argue.

“Then trust me when I say that these are your eyes.” Bea stated firmly.

“B-but-”

“Trust me.” Bea said.

“But they look… they look weird…” Mae muttered, trying to look in the mirror again.

“They look weird cause you having an attack Mae.” Bea tried to explain. “They are your eyes, they're just a little… wild right now. Like you. Ok?”

Mae grimaced, rocking back and forth on her feet. They didn’t look or see like her eyes at all. Yet Bea said they were hers…. And Bea typically didn’t lie.

“Ok?” Bea asked, pressing a bit harder for a response.

“O-Ok….”

“Good, ok… Come on, let's go.” Bea said as she looped her arm around Mae’s shoulders and lead her to the bathroom. Stepping inside Bea seemed to look over the collection of beauty equipment on the messy counter before forcing Mae into the tub, still dressed and with no water on, shutting the sliding glass divider behind her.

Mae eyed her small, rectangular, porcelain pen in confusion. She could hear Bea moving things around on the counter behind the divider, but couldn’t see with the rippling effect of the glass. There was a moment of pause behind the sliding door before Bea shoved it open again, grabbing the razor and scissors on the ledge inside and shutting the divider again. Mae knelt to the floor of the tub and started to rock herself, trying to find a way to calm her frazzled nerves, to help the shapes melt.

_I bet it would hurt if we broke the divider with our bare hands._

Mae made another deep throated moan as the voice echoed in the tiled bathroom.

_Oh! What if we pushed it over on Bea?_

Mae slapped the side of her head violently.

**Badthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsoutbadthoughtsout-**

The glass slide open again and this time Bea took in her girlfriend's shakey, curled position in the tub before gently easing her back out so Bea could start to run the shower. Looking around Mae could see the counter was now clear of objects. There were no tools or blunt objects for Mae’s slippery paws to grab.

_No toys?!_

**Smart...**

Bea checked the water before turning back to Mae, tugging at the hem of her outside coat. “Come on, let's get you in the shower huh?”

Mae didn’t resist as Bea took off her coat, then hoodie, then shirt, until finally Mae was down to nothing but fur. Not that it was a new sight for Bea. The gator helped Mae back into the tub, making her stand under the spray of the water. The warmths started to seep to Mae’s bones and she could feel herself relaxing under the flow. There was more shuffling before Bea stepped in to join her.

Mae watched her naked girlfriend shut the door. Did she want to do that? Now? 

The thought dispersed as Bea took their shampoo and lathered up her hands before starting on Mae’s dyed tufts. As the gator worked to clean her girlfriend free of the blood splatter, Mae took the time to enjoy the scrubbing motions of Bea’s warm claws. The stroking talons and the gentle massaging motions helped ease her tension. Infact Mae was almost putty at this point as Bea’s hands rolled from the head to shoulders… however…

“What the SHIT.” Bea muttered, a hand going back to Mae’s neck and pushing the fur up against the grain. Mae twitched, a little annoyed, but when Bea spoke the feeling faded. “What the hell happened to you neck?!”

“What do you mean?” Mae asked, a little tired.

“Its bruised to fuck.” Bea explained tightly. 

Bruised neck… Bruised neck…. Bruis-

**HANDS GRABBED TIGHTLY AROUND HER THROAT-CAN'T BREATH-NO AIR!**

Mae gagged and threw herself against the front shower wall, away from Bea.

**Holy shit. Holy shit. The heck was that?!**

_Hell if I know. PTSD or something?_

**Could be.**

“Hey, hey are you ok?” Bea asked, trying to sound calm over the pittering of the shower. “What happened?”

“I-” Mae swallowed tightly. “Some guy grabbed me.”

“What do you mean ‘some guy grabbed me’?! Around your neck?!” Bea gasped.

Mae touched her throat gingerly, it had started to hurt a little, but wasn’t doing anything otherwise. “Ummm… Yah….”

 ......

“What else did he do?! What did he say?! How did you get back to the apartment?!” Bea questioned frantically. “Did he ra-”

“Money. Said something about wanting my money… I think?” Mae mumbled, scratching the back of her head, interrupting a stream of water. She heard Bea release a breath of air.

“Ok. So, how did you get back… Did he take your wallet?” Bea asked.

“No… I…” Mae squinted, trying to remember past the haze what she had done. She knew she attacked back, with something rectangular… “I fought back… hit him with something. Alot. Way too much hitting him, maybe.”

“Is that where all that fucking blood came from?! Shit! Mae did you kill him?!” Bea frowned.

_Did you kill him._

“What- no…” Mae whimpered.

_Did you kill him._

She clutched her head. “H-he was- I heard him talking before I ran off- I-”

_Are you sure? Or did your broken head make that up to? Did you kill him?_

“I- but no- I wouldn’t-”

_Ohhh! Thats a good joke, Mae. Andy Cullen is laughing his ass off._

“A-Andy was DIFFERENT!” Mae screamed, pulling on her ears.

“Alright! Ok, calm. Calm Mae.” Bea said, taking her shoulders. “I’ll… I’ll call the cops or something.”

_I bet we can do all sorts of fun things in jail._

“I don’t wanna go to jail Bea…” Mae whined.

“You won’t go to jail Mae, it was self defense.”

_Yah! We’ll just get a nice padded room for just you and me, Mae. For the rest of your natural life._

**N-no thank you.**

_Who say you have choice?_

“Don’t leave me alone with it!” Mae cried out, tears starting again before her threw herself into Bea, wrapping her arms around the girl desperately. It was only Bea’s muscular stature and her quick reflexes at grabbing the handrail that stopped them from crashing the floor of the tub. At first Bea did nothing, and Mae found herself sobbing even harder. Yet an arm traveled over her waist to pull her closer, and a clawed hand started to stroke the back of her head. 

Mae felt herself leaning into the touch.

The shower didn’t last too much longer. Once the water was off Bea stepped out to dry herself off before leading Mae out onto the matt. As Bea dried her off Mae had a sort of deja vu back to when she was a child and her mother would towel her off after her bath. 

_Whats changed? You still needed to be taken care of like a little baby._

Mae scowled.

Thankfully she managed to ignore the voice entirely. After they were dry enough not to leave a trail behind them Bea wrapped her cut hands in gauze and lead her back to their bedroom, redressing Mae in a pair of pajamas…Yet as she felt the fabric she realised that they weren’t just any pajamas. They were her special pajamas. Bea had gotten them for her when they had had their first Longest Night as a couple. They were supposed to be a fluffy dark blue with sheep and clouds on them, but all she could see was dark blue rectangles and white squares all over them. 

She had confessed after a few too many drinks that she wore them after a hard day. They were a comfort she had come to use only for such an occasion. Apparently Bea remembered. 

Beas hands were back after Mae had the chance to ruffle her fluffy arms. They lead her to their bed, where she was made to sit, piles upon piles of soft, heavy blankets being wrapped around her. It felt safe here, and warm. The sheets smelt like home and Bea. Though those two thing could have been one in the same. 

Bea’s hands gave her two small elongated circles and a square glass filled with water. Guessing they were advil she popped the shapes and took a swig without question. The bed dipped as Bea sat, taking the glass and putting it on the bedside table.

“Mae, I’m gonna go call somebody real quick, ok?”

“No…” Mae whimpered. “No don’t leave me.” 

She did NOT want to be alone right now. Not with that voice.

_Hurtful._

“I’m gonna be right in the kitchen.”

“Nooo…. Please….” Mae sniffled. Tears going down her face.

“I-...” Bea shifted on the bed. Mae felt the blankets shifting before Bea spoke. “Ok. Just until you fall asleep.”

More than pacified Mae moved to allow room on the bed, curling around her girlfriend easily. She sighed once Bea was beside her.

“Who are you gonna call?” Mae asked, tired but curious.

“...” Bea swallowed a bit. “Couple of people… Police… Need to call the boys back … Your parents. I also need to call you in sick tomorrow and call my teachers to have notes forward to me-”

“What?!” Mea’s voice slurred a bit by sleepiness, medication and her facial arrangement with the pillows. “You can’t miss school! I can’t miss work!”

“Mae, believe me when I say you are in no condition to work and weather you do go in or not, which you won’t be, I wouldn’t be in any condition to learn by leaving you alone like this.” Bea said sternly.

“B-but…”

_Take, take, take. My god, how has she not left you by now?_

**I don’t know…**

_You just keep on letting her down. First as a friend, now as a life partner. Whats next? Adopt a baby with her and then walk out?_

Mae whimpered, tears starting anew as a wail started deep in her throat. 

“Ok, Mae what is it?” Bea asked, sounding a little tired herself.

“I'M SORRY!” Mae started to ball. “I’M SORRY I LEFT YOU ALONE WHEN WE WERE KIDS! I’M SORRY I LEFT YOU ALONE WHEN YOUR MOM DIED! I’M SORRY YOU NEED TO KEEP TAKING CARE OF ME! I’M SORRY I DON’T GIVE ANYTHING! I’M SORRY! I’m Sorry! I’m sorry! Imsosorryimsorryimsorryimsorry-”

As she started to peeter out a pair of scaly warm lips pressed to her’s. Mae hiccuped in the kiss before Bae pulled back.

“Hey, hey its ok, Mae. Half that craps not true.” Bea said softly. “Its… Its your condition talking.”

“No! No, I’ve always felt bad about abandoning you before highschool…” Mae said, sniffling as snot started to come out her nose. She felt Bea wince. “I was such an asshole, like Jackie said!”

“Mae, we were teenagers. Teenagers, all teenagers, are assholes.” Bea said. “It's just one big period of being an asshole cause things are changing, and hormones and social shuffling. We are literally being reborn like the deuterostomes we are.”

Mae sniffed. “D-deut-er-os-tomes?”

“When people are being built in the womb, we’re made ass first. We are literally nothing but an asshole at one point in our lives.” Bea explained. Mae felt her smile when she gave a soggy giggle as the news.

“That sounds like something Angus would say….” Mae said.

“Well guess who told me that fact.” Bea replied. Once sure that Mae had settled the gator continued. “Mae you don’t have to feel so guilty about that. You don’t have to feel guilty about not being there when my mom passed away, or when she first got sick or whatever. You were kinda dealing with your own shit at the time.” Bea suddenly tapped Mae’s nose, startling her a little. “Plus that croc of crap about not giving me anything? You're the reason I have a teacher to call in the first place.”

Mae mumbled softly, pulling herself closer to Bea. “You still have to take care of me…”

“This is your first major attack since the dad cult got all crazy. Thats a longtime Mae. Not to mention I think ‘being mugged’ counts as a good excuse for this acting up now.” Bea said. “If anything, I would have expected a body, but somehow you A) Stopped yourself from killing him. B) Didn’t get lost and found your way home.Then finally C) When you couldn’t get the door open by yourself you waited for help instead of wondering off to god knows where. Infact, I’m kinda happy you couldn’t get inside if that melon baller on our living room floor is any indication.”

Bea stroked Mae’s hair again. “Look, living with this shit can’t be easy. I just wish you’d use your coverage to get tested…”

“What if they lock me up in an asylum or whatever…” Mae asked. “What if I’m some kind of psychopath with no emotions.”

“Mae, do you feel bad for hurting that guy and Andy Cullen all those years ago?”

“Yes…”

“Then I think you don’t have to worry about that.” Bea stated. “I was talking with a friend of mine, she’s going through for psychology. I didn’t say everything but she says a few of the symptoms I gave her sounded like a psychosis.”

“So I am a psycho?” Mae asked, a little alarmed.

“Psychosis Mae, not psychopathy.” Bea explained. “Psychopathy is a personality disorder, with the lack of empathy, impulsivity and the callous nature you're thinking of. Psychosis is an umbrella term, all of which describe a condition of losing touch with reality.”

“Oh.”

“Some of which can be treated, or at least managed with drugs.” 

“Oh.” Mae blinked. “So if I get tested…”

“Then you can get a prescription, get it filled and possible keep this from happening or stop it from happening as badly as it is.” Bea nodded.

“...” Mae sighed sadly. “I guess I could… I want this to stop.”

The two nuzzled for a moment. “I want to stop this from happening to you to.” Bea agreed. Mae smiled sleepily in the embrace.

“Then we’re in agreement?” She asked softly, yawning afterward.

Bea smirked. “Get to sleep Borowski, hopefully you’ll feel more like yourself in the morning.”

“Two in the afternoon is the earliest I’m getting up…” Mae scoffed.

“Fair enough.”

Enwrapped in the warmth of Bea’s embrace, the heavy blankets and the smell of home, Mae had never felt so comfortable. Maybe it was because the medication was taking effect, maybe it was because of how safe everything felt, but Mae was finally able to shut her eyes and drift off to sleep…

_Don’t think I’m done with y-_

**Oh piss off.**

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This was my first NITW fan fiction. I'm really hoping some things don't feel out of place character wise... Like Mae being able to work like she is in the story, ect, ect. Please let me know if anything feels odd for future reference. Also, if my depictions of Mae's breakdown feel odd, or insulting in some way, let me know about that to.
> 
> Much thanks for reading!


End file.
